.: Hornbill’s Kingdom :.

.:Gangga Ganggai Penatai Jalai Kaya:.

.:. I Love You .:.

I Love You…Celine Dion…   

I must be crazy now

Maybe I dream too much

But when I think of you

I long to feel your touch 

To whisper in your ear

Words that are old as time

Words only you would hear

If only you were mine 

I wish I could go back to the very first day I saw you

Should’ve made my move when you looked in my eyes

Cause by now I know that you’d feel the way that I do

And I’d whisper these words as you’d lie here by my side

I love you, please say

You love me too, these three words

They could change our lives forever

And I promise you that we will always be together

Till the end of time 

So today, I finally find the courage deep inside

Just to walk right up to your door

But my body can’t move when I finally get to it

Just like a thousand times before 

Then without a word he handed me this letter

Read I hope this finds the way into your heart, it said

I love you, please say

You love me too, these three words

They could change our lives forever

And I promise you that we will always be together

Till the end of time 

Well maybe I, I need a little love yeah

And maybe I, I need a little care

And maybe I, maybe you, maybe you, maybe you

Oh you need somebody just to hold you

If you do, just reach out and I’ll be there 

I love you, please say

You love me too

Please say you love me too

Till the end of time

These three words

They could change our lives forever

And I promise you that we will always be together

Oh, I love you

Please say you love me too

Please please

Say you love me too

Till the end of time

My baby

Together, together, forever

Till the end of timeI love you

I will be your light

Shining bright

Shining through your eyes

My baby


p/s – lirik lagu tu very sweet…..manah agi ari version Siti Nurhaliza… 😉


September 28, 2006 Posted by | Jurnal Aku | 4 Comments

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms…: 온리 유 :…


On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy.. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.  Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. 


Catherine Saloma came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Catherine Saloma hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.  Catherine Saloma said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls’ eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.  Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife.. But I couldn’t help doing so. I moved Catherine Saloma’s hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I’ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.  However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. 

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Catherine Saloma‘s body. This was the means of my entertainment.   One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn’t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.  When my wife went to my office, Catherine Saloma had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.  

Once again, Catherine Saloma said to me, Nyandang, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.


When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I’ve got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.  She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I’m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry.. She threw away the spoons and shouted at me, you are not a man!  That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Catherine Saloma. 


With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.  Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.  Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.  


She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month’s time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn’t want him to see our marriage was broken.  She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, Nyandang, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.  I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically. 


I told Catherine Saloma about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.  My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don’t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.  On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.  On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there. 


On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Catherine Saloma became vague.  On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn’t tell Dew about this.   I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain.. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.   Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.  

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.  I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn’t notice that our life lacked intimacy.  I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Catherine Saloma opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Catherine Saloma, I won’t divorce. I’m serious. 


She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever.. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Catherine Saloma, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of life, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.  Catherine Saloma seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. 


When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until we are old.


p/s – rindu ati maca….peace…

September 11, 2006 Posted by | Jurnal Aku | 4 Comments

Remember: Whatever Happens, Happens For A Reason…


.: Benung Bepikir :.

Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two

  1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..
  2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won’t make you cry.
  3. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.


.: Love Me: Love Me Not :. 


4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can’t have them. 


 .: Bala Hero Pasar Kapit Benung Ngirup Lemai :.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

 .: Anang Nyabak Au: Legi Tua Ngalu Ke Pasar :.


8. Don’t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn’t willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the
person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

.: Anang Tusah Ati: Idup Mesti Terus :.


11. There’s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don’t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

.: Gambar Video Clip Album Bujang Engkeraju :.

p/s Album Bujang Engkeraju ka dikeluar ka dalam bulan 12 taun 2006. Aram meh kitai sama meli kaset/vcd ke original. Dikeluar ka Syarikat LUH…studio ti tebilang ngeluarka lagu Iban ti berkualiti.

September 7, 2006 Posted by | Jurnal Aku | 3 Comments

Love is in the air…..

I can smell the love is in the air diatu he..he..he…

Goodbye My Lover

by James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.


Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit – it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.


Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Nda nemu nama utai ka disebut dalam post ke sekali tu…..but 1 thing for sure…picture says a thousand words. I would like to extend my warmest regards to Apai Jang & Indai Jang, Apai Igat & Indai Igat, Apai Dom & Indai Dom. Have a blessed day today. Peace.

June 21, 2006 Posted by | Jurnal Aku | 3 Comments

Happy Father’s Day

A True Father

Most any man can father a child for this we know is true, but to be a good dad there's a whole lot more for all these men to do.They have to have strength to endure long days even though their bodies be tired, the love in their hearts has to show in their eyes to the child who so admires.They have to show honesty through each day and show that life is worth living, they have to show caring in all they do in taking and in giving.Understanding has to be a big part of the father's heart as well, and though he feels pain or hurts at times he may never, never tell.They have a great laughter that shows in their eyes and comes rolling from within, to light up the faces of each little child as each day draws to an end.Hopes for today, Dreams for tomorrow is what they must keep showing, and though they grow old they still feel great joy, for the love of their children keeps growing.



  "Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering (for he is faithful that promised)(Hebrews 10:23 KJV)."

lways there!

  "…for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. (Hebrews 13:5 KJV)."


  "…there hath not failed one word of all his good promises…(1 Kings 8:56 KJV)."


  "If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be; if any man serve me, him will my Father honor (John 12:26 KJV)."


  "…I have loved thee with an everlasting love; therefore, with lovingkindness have I drawn thee (Jeremiah 31:3 KJV)."


  "The Lord is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works (Psalm 145:17 KJV)."


  "Fear thou not; for I am with thee. Be no dismayed; for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold these with the right hand of my righteousness (Isaiah 41:10 KJV)."

p/s – Ka meri Happy Father’s Day agai sida apai dom, apai igat ngau apai jang. Pia mega agai semua orang ke udah nyadi apai. Ngau pesan nyangkung makai tengah hari. Peace to all.

June 19, 2006 Posted by | Jurnal Aku | 4 Comments

The Colours of Friendship…

Greetings everyone! It has been a while aku nda nyengah agai blog aku tu. Ukai nadai idea ka nulis tang meh buruk amat asai ka nulis new post. Anyway…a couple of days ago, I received an email from BEL…a really nice and yet inspirational email about friendship from him. Like it a lot though….. So it gives me a great pleasure to share it in this very blog…for us to share and think. Heartiest thanks to BEL for the email.

"A sympathetic friend can be quite as dear as a brother."

 "However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship." 


“The language of friendship is not words but meanings.”


"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends whom we choose." 

"Every man passes his life in the search after friendship." 

"Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit."


"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you." 

"No man is useless while he has a friend." 

"Love is rarer than genius itself. And friendship is rarer than love."  

so sweet…….mupok nda lama aku…cherio!

June 15, 2006 Posted by | Jurnal Aku | 3 Comments

The Mind Of The Broken Hearted…

Tabi ngagai kita bala kaban, pangan, unggal, menyadi, sulu, ambai…just whatever you want to put it. Lama aku udah enda ngirum post dalam blog aku tu…kalu nadai awak ndor aku ngarang ditu…..kalu busy laban ke ka ngambi pemisi panjai ujung bulan tu. Cuti Gawai Dayak meh nya….aku start pemisi 25/05 tu. Enda sabar ka atai ba rumah diri empu.

Anang saru meda topic aku saritu…actually I was touched this morning leboh aku ninga lagu "Kasih Yang Terpisah" ari Idayu AF3. The melody was nice…plus the lyric of the song was rather menyentuh perasaan munyi ko jakoorang maya tu. So, while listening to the song, I managed to jotted down the entire lyric..in which I would like to share with all of you this morning. Basically I was all about broken hearted and regrets….I guess….anyway, its really a nice song. I love it!


Idayu AF3 ~ Kasih Yang Terpisah

Adakah engkau
Dapat merasakan apa yang ku rasa
Tentang apa yang telah terjadi
Oh inikah suratan yang ku terima kini

Bukan salah diri mu
Bukan kau pinta semua kan terjadi
Kerna hati ku mencinta
Semua terlukis rasa yang kecewa

Andainya kini
Dapat ku ulang semua kisah silam
Pasti ku akan menyayangi mu
Selamanya hingga ke akhir dunia

Tapi apakan daya
Terpisahlah jua kita akhirnya
Pengorbanan mu pada diri ku
Tak pernah ku hargai

Sukarnya untuk merubah
Sukarnya untuk ku melupakan
Kenangan bersama telah tersurat
Ku layari bahtera ku ini
Akan ku teguh
Ingin lagi ku bersama
Ingin lagi ku peluk
Walau sesaat cuma
Walau di maya kau menjelma
Untuk bermesra
Pasti tak bisa
Kembalikan diri mu

Adakah engkau
Tak akan melihat ku di sini
Bukan ku rayu untuk simpati
Tapi maafkanlah

Kerna kesilapan itu
Takkan kau lupakan
Pasti ku ubah segalanya.

Throughout our lives we are all bound to experience a variety of relationships. The toughest thing most of us will learn is that those first few relationships don’t generally work out, and we’re bound to experience a little heart break. As much as these experiences are dreadfully painful, I believe they are essential for us to correctly understand ourselves, and why we do the things we do. When relationships head for the worst, people go through a collections of emotions – from rage to frustration to acceptance and finally to understanding. We must repeat these phases of emotion as necessary until we realize that life is going to be different now. The fear of change, feelings of loneliness, obsession and infatuation, all make being “free” a scary thing. Hmmm umbas meh nya…..nyu jiwang ndar aku saritu…..got carried away ninga lagu diberi LH agai aku….”Tak Bisa Memilikimu”….hu..hu…sinu ndar… 

Mupok nda lama aku…..

May 22, 2006 Posted by | Jurnal Aku | 4 Comments

Something to ponder upon…

Sent by a friend this morning…and I found it so true!This is a nice analogy, so take heed of the advice. 

Once upon a time, there was a very strong man. He asked for a job from a timber merchant and he got it. The pay was really good and so were the work conditions. For that reason, the man was determined to do his best.  His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he is supposed to work. The first day, he brought down 18 trees. The Boss was very much impressed and said, "Congratulations! Go on that way!"

Very motivated by the words of the boss, he tried harder the next day, but only could bring down 15 trees. The third day he tried even harder, but he could only bring down 10 trees. Day after day he was bringing down less and less trees. "I must be losing my strength", he thought to himself.

He went to the Boss and apologized, saying that he could not understand what was going on. "When was the last time you sharpened your axe?" the boss asked. "Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my axe. I have been busy cutting trees."


The moral of this story:

Our lives are like that. We sometimes get so busy that we don't take time to sharpen the axe. In today's world, it seems that everyone is busier than ever, but less happy than ever. Why is that? Could it be that we have forgotten how to stay sharp?

There's nothing wrong with activity and hard work. But we should not get so busy and neglect the truly important things in life, like our personal life, taking time to care for others, taking time to read etc. We all need time to relax, to think and meditate, to learn and grow. If you don't take the time to sharpen the axe, we will become dull and lose our effectiveness.

So, start from today, think about the ways by which you could do your job more effectively and add a lot of value to it. Hope this story has given you some insight to life, may you be happy always!


Peace and cherio to all…..

May 10, 2006 Posted by | Jurnal Aku | 5 Comments

Happy Mother’s Day

A Mother's Love

There is no love, like a mother's love,
no stronger bond on earth…
like the precious bond that comes from God,
to a mother, when she gives birth.

A mother's love is forever strong,
never changing for all time…
and when her children need her most,
a mother's love will shine.

God bless these special mothers,
God bless them every one…
for all the tears and heartache,
and for the special work they've done.

When her days on earth are over,
a mother's love lives on…
through many generations,
with God's blessings on each one.

Be thankful for our mothers,
for they love with a higher love…
from the power God has given,
and the strength from up above.

p/s – ngau peluang tu aku meri Selamat Hari Indai agai Val, Van, LH, BE, BEL ngai Sil @ Leftenan Pyo….ngau pesan rindu rindu meh selalu….. Jaga meh anak kita ngau manah ok…

May 9, 2006 Posted by | Jurnal Aku | 4 Comments

Welcome to Dongmakgol

.:. Sil, this is the vcd's that I bought (bahan bukti).:.

Yesterday (Sunday 07/05/06), I started the day with no plans to speak of. After church, I was taking a nap and around 5.30 or so in the evening I was watching a Korean movie entitled Welcome to Dongmakgol…alone…as usual! Well, actually I had a conversation with Sil pertaining to that movie the day before and obviously he managed to persuade me to watch that movie…he..he… The film was pretty good, and not nearly as anti-American as the Korea Herald led me to believe. Set during the Korean War (1950 to be exact), the movie tells the tale of a group of North Korean soldiers, a group of South Korean soldiers, and an American pilot (Capt. Neil Smith) who all independently wind up in a small village completely unaware of the (the afore mentioned Dongmakgol).


.:. Scene maya penduduk kampung berandau ngau Capt. Neal Smith.:.

Over the course of the movie, all of these guys realized that none of them are really that different from each other while removed from the war. I took the film to be more anti-war than anti-American. All sides in the film were shown doing horrible things during war (North Koreans attempting to kill off their own injured men, South Koreans blowing up a bridge with people on it, Americans beating up civilians during an interrogation), so no one comes off smelling like roses.


 .: Scene maya Sil ngau BE belaya / berekak..he..he :.

Geli ati aku ngenang maya penduduk kampong Dongmakgol nya bekenang ka bala sedadu ke datai dia, ba sida penduduk kampong nya the newcomers are viewed simply as people "wearing a round gourd (buah labu)  and holding long sticks" and who "look irritated a lot," because they have never seen a gun nor military helmet. When the soldiers explain war has broken out across the Korean Peninsula, the villages ask with surprise, "Who invaded? The Japanese or Chinese?" I really found this was rather an amusing prologue to a film that portrays the tragedy and absurdity of war. Overall cerita tu ndang lucu ndar peda aku….towards the end of it ke nyu emosional mimit….



 .: Scene mandang ka aku, Sil ngau BE….sapa sigat gi?? :.



It's all about "gratitude and revenge"…..pesan aku ngagai semua……rindu meh ngagai pangan diri….anang belaya…..peace to all…..


 .: Scene maya kami main American Football in peace :.



 .: Gambar Sil maya posing pekit Keling Kg. Dongmakgol :.


.: Gambar Val benong excited meda penyigat bala Keling Dongmakgol :.



  1. Cptn. Neil Smith          –   Aku meh nya….he…he…

  2. Left. Pyo                     –  Sil

  3. Comrad Korea Utara   –  BE

  4. Medic                          –  BEL

  5. Yeo-Il (village girl)        –  Val

  6. Talkative Grandmother  –  Van (special appearance)


May 9, 2006 Posted by | Jurnal Aku | 6 Comments